Good Enough There is great value in being a Good Enough Mum, not perfect, but enough.
Some mornings I wake up not with an alarm, but with a tiny "Mummy" sound. The day starts before my eyes are fully open. I may be sleepless and tired, but I prepare breakfast, change the nappy, play games, and be with him when he cries. I always have one question in my mind: "Am I a good enough mum?"
What is Being a Good Enough Mum?
You've heard the phrase "be a good enough mum". This is very different from superhero motherhood.
This concept, introduced by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, is not the "perfect mum", "good enough mum" that is, a model of a good enough mother. Because children need a human, fallible but loving relationship rather than 0 perfect care.
What are the Characteristics of Being a Good Mother?
- It doesn't have to be perfect. He can make mistakes, sometimes his patience runs out.
- It is important to be able to repair the relationship. For example, hugging after shouting, apologising.
- Providing a safe space and to know its limits.
- To be with you, to support you, to laugh and cry together.
- A realistic and loving approach to the needs of the child.
Whose concept is Good Enough Mum?
This concept was first put forward by psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott. He advised to avoid perfectionist expectations in the mother-child relationship.
What to Do to Be a Good Mum?
- To show compassion for yourself and your child.
- Stop being perfect and focus on being "good enough".
- Valuing the child's feelings, being there for him/her.
- Recognise their own limits and do not ignore their needs.
- Not making the perfect motherhood poses on social media as a benchmark.
What is Mother Love Like?
A mother's love is unconditional. It recognises mistakes, builds a mutual bond and supports the emotional development of the child.
Final Word: Have Self-Compassion
"When I have compassion for myself, my mothering flows more smoothly."
Remember, every mother who loves her baby and strives not to harm her baby good enough.
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